This is pretty amusing…
“…thanks to the high-pitched single, “A Favor House Atlantic”. More touring ensued, touring with Thursday, Thrice, AFI, and some band that I would only know about thanks to Wikipedia. Eventually, Colombia records signed a contract with them too, making Coheed release two albums on Equal Vision and Colombia. Around this time, Claudio got snake bites and chugged a bottle of Jack Daniels, years before Ke$ha got the balls to brush her teeth with it. Pussy.”
“A prog rock band with a five album story line? Holy shit!”
“Shabutie changed when they brought Travis Stever back from the dead or something, and when their awesome drummer, Nate Kelley, left in the middle of a show. Shellshocked from this new change of events, Shabutie slowly fizzled out, and the band formally known as Shabutie (is that phrase copyrighted by Prince?) began to evolve into a new band.
Cue the Pokemon evolution music. DUN DUN DUN DAAAAA NUN…”
“Many sources on Wikipedia cite Coheed and Cambria as “emo”, but calling them emo is like calling Nickelback good; no one can take it seriously when you say it. However, many important people (like myself and Equal Vision Records) call Coheed Progressive Rock, with influences of heavy metal, punk rock, pop, funk, and post-hardcore. Entertainment Weekly even called them new-prog, which I guess is way better than emo. “