Posts tagged: iwatchedthis
Five strangers get stuck in an elevator, one of them is the Devil.
Before the elevator doors even close, I go, duh! of course it’s the old lady, since everyone else looks suspicious. But then she’s the second person to die and I’m like, oh, okay. And later she comes back to life with OMG BLACK EYEBALLS, but apparently she’s forced to leave the last man alive because he ~confessed his sins~. … Fuck outta here.
And what ever happened to free will? No, you can’t be a shitty person if you want, the Devil will personally come and break your neck in an elevator. And, uh, wasn’t God the judgmental type? Why would the Devil come up on Earth to kill people? Isn’t it his job to make people bad? I don’t get it.
Just One of The Guys
(I saw this first ages ago, when our dumbboxes still showed channels (they’re just room decoration now), but randomly thought of it today and and figured it might be worth a rewatch; and thankfully it had some seeds on pirate bay.)
If you haven’t seen it (I’m getting the feeling a lot of people have) it’s seriously awesome for what it is — a somewhat typical highschool movie (with stereotypical jocks and nerds, and ends with a prom). I love it. The protagonist is
cute as fuck surprisingly well-balanced for a movie like this.
Rating: cries of a tiny mutant baby/10
“Püha Tõnu kiusamine” / The Temptation of St. Tony (2009)
Rating: WHAT DID I JUST WATCH/10
Best watched at 3-5 AM, alone in a dark room. [Being in this ridiculous timezone, 5 AM was when the radio show started that would premiere a song from my favoritest band ever, but after the movie I was too mindfucked to care.]
Words, I don’t have any. So here’s someone else’s:
“Probably the strangest movie I’ve seen in many moons, an enigma, a psychologically labyrinthine, yet physically desolate odyssey of distinctly oneiric design. This is the most beautifully grotesque cinematic oneirdynia since Eraserhead.”
“The Temptation of St. Tony is a powerful and outlandish descent into the existential nightmare of a post-modern Dante’s Inferno. A tour-de-force of sound and image, with a masterful emotive minimal score from Ulo Krigul, this is a film equivalent of tasting black pudding sinking into a bowl of blood-red borscht; exotic and carnal, pungent and acquired.”
“Imagine if you will, Tarkovsky and Lynch swilling vodka and munching on a confit human leg, discussing moral irony and apocalyptic symbolism, while the flickering surrealist moments of a projection of a Luis Bunuel film plays like an icy moving image installation in the background. There is much to be beguiled about, and much to create quite confusion, director Õunpuu deliberately doesn’t provide easy answers, only eerie tableaux and confronting contemplation.”
“The vulnerable soul of man is bared, but remains sheathed in a dreamlike fabric that is stretched and torn, devoured and almost regurgitated. Yet, like a sharp twig digging into the base of your spine at a picnic, there’s a sense of humour that rears its lamp black head every now and again.”
From another review:
“It is hard to create a truly “strange” movie these days without inviting comparisons to past works. Estonian–born Õunpuu’s approach works surprisingly well: paying direct homage to the “alternative classics,” starting with a trompe l’oeil opening, a tableaux-cum-tracking shot palimpsest of either Buñuel’s Simon of the Desert or Bergman’s The Seventh Seal. Along the way, we are also treated to stoic Jarmusch-like characters, abstract black-and-white images in the tradition of Lynch’s Eraserhead, chapter breaks a la Godard, a party scene right out of Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut (in a nightclub called The Golden Age, another Bunuel reference), and a faithful recreation of Tobe Hooper’s crazy Texas Chainsaw Massacre climax. Beyond cinema, Õunpuu makes overt allusions to Dante, William Blake and Kafka, and the film’s title is a play on the various famous paintings and books about the Temptation of St. Anthony. Meanwhile, the inventive soundtrack offers everything from bluegrass to ’80s synthesizer pop.”
I forgot to post this before; I usually rate movies here after I watch them. Anyhoo, it’s a documentary, and if you’re following me then you’re with 80% certainty the kind of person who should watch this.
I just, I don’t even—
Apparently I left Dogma unrated too, though I could swear I said something somewhere about it. Oh, right, in an e-mail to Beca: “Speaking of weeping for humanity, I watched Dogma today. It was supposed to be a comedy, but even George Carlin playing a Cardinal didn’t make it funny for me. I can’t believe the director got death threats for it, it was lame as hell.”
As for Legion, it was relatively good actually, you may like it if you’re into apocalyptic movies and such. I just get ticked off over irrelevant things so I’m too biased to rate it objectively.
Have some quotes:
Percy: “I don’t know what book you’ve been reading, but in my version—the angels are the good guys.”
Michael: “The truth, I’m afraid, is never that simple.”
Bob: “I mean, I don’t even believe in God.”
Michael: “Well, that’s just fine, Bob, He doesn’t believe in you either.”
The Book of Eli
Dazed and Confused